Facing the Inner Dragons – Inspired by Dr. Rebecca Dupas

Dr. Rebecca Dupas is a poet, educator, and healer whose words often serve as mirrors for the soul. In her poem How to Slay a Dragon (a poem about the day I met myself), she doesn’t offer a list of steps or strategies. Instead, she invites us into a quiet, powerful moment: the recognition of one’s own inner saboteur — and the gentle, fierce act of facing it. This breakout page explores how Dr. Dupas’s poetic voice offers a unique lens on the inner dragons we all carry — and the grace it takes to meet them with truth.

The following reflections interpret Dr. Dupas’s work through the lens of inner voices — the saboteurs that hold us back and the allies that move us forward. For a broader understanding of Saboteurs and Allies, and to explore other traditions and thinkers, please refer back to our main guide.

Saboteur as Inner Dragons Voices in Dupas’s Poem

In How to Slay a Dragon, the inner saboteur is personified as the dragon — not monstrous in the typical sense, but shadowy, subtle, and familiar. Its voice is layered with past wounds, self-doubt, and shame.

You’re too much – a voice of emotional repression and fear of rejection.
You’ll never heal from this – the saboteur of hopelessness.
They only love your mask – the fear of conditional love.
You let them down – the inner critic fixated on past mistakes.
You’ll never be enough – the saboteur of unworthiness.

These are not imagined voices — they are the very phrases we speak to ourselves in our most vulnerable moments.

Facing the Inner Dragons – The Moment of Meeting

The turning point in Dupas’s poem isn’t a battle — it’s a meeting. A woman stands before a mirror and sees the dragon. She does not run, attack, or hide; she stands still. She breathes, hears, and sees. This is the moment many of us avoid — and the one that ultimately sets us free.

Facing the Inner Dragons – Ally Voices That Emerge

Once the dragon is seen and acknowledged, something shifts. The poem offers no fanfare, but the inner voices begin to change:

You hear it now — and still breathe.
You name the wound — and stay open.
You let the mask fall — and remain.
You forgive your stumbles — and rise.
You meet yourself — and stand.

These are not loud declarations. They are whispered truths — signs of resilience, self-compassion, and clarity. In Dupas’s world, slaying the dragon isn’t destruction. It’s recognition. It’s remembering who you are underneath the voices.

You are the only dragon you need to slay - Saboteurs and Allies

Reflection and Resonance

Dr. Dupas reminds us: “You are not the dragon.”
But you must be willing to meet it. To stand before the mirror and recognize what you’ve feared was yourself — and discover, instead, your truth. The poem doesn’t resolve with triumph. It resolves with presence.

Here what this inspired me to write:

Two Dragons Live Within Poem - Saboteurs and Allies.png

The Monster Under My Bed

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed

Long before we have language for fear, many of us know it by another name:
the monster under the bed. It’s an old and modern metaphor for the same inner encounter.
This section draws on a modern cultural echo of the same inner encounter, captured vividly in Eminem and Rihanna’s song “The Monster,” where the language of friendship replaces the instinct to fight what lives within.

It is not imaginary in the dismissive sense. It is symbolic. A presence felt more than seen. Something that waits in the dark, emerging when the world goes quiet and our certainty thins.

For most of us, that monster does not vanish with age.
It changes location. It moves inward.

In adulthood, it speaks as a familiar inner voice. It surfaces in moments of stillness, uncertainty, or exposure. It may sound like doubt, vigilance, restlessness, or a quiet sense of unease. We try to outgrow it. Outrun it. Silence it with effort or achievement. Yet the more we pretend it is not there, the more insistently it returns.

What shifts everything is the moment we stop trying to defeat it.

When we turn toward the monster under the bed, we often discover what the poem’s dragon already knows: it is not malicious. It is protective. It formed early, in moments when we felt overwhelmed, unsafe, or alone. Its role was to watch, to warn, to keep us ready. It learned that role deeply, and it has not forgotten it.

This is why the monster feels so convincing.
It is old. It is practiced. And it believes it is helping.

Facing the inner dragon follows the same arc. The dragon does not guard emptiness. It stands watch over something precious: fear, anger, ambition, grief, or untapped strength. When ignored, it breathes fire. When approached with steadiness and curiosity, it begins to speak instead of roar.

This work is not about befriending danger for its own sake.
It is about forming a relationship with the parts of us that once ensured survival, even if their methods no longer fit the life we are living now.

Growth does not come from banishing the monster.
It comes from sitting at the edge of the bed and listening.

When the monster no longer has to shout to be heard, it softens.
When the dragon is no longer treated as an enemy, it becomes a guide.

What once kept us awake in the dark can, over time, become a source of clarity, creativity, and grounded strength. Not because it changed who we are, but because we finally allowed ourselves to see what had been there all along.

Steps to Tame Your Inner Dragons

We all carry dragons with us, they exist to protect us, yet some of that protection can come from creating fear and doubt deeply programmed as survival instinct that in today’s world hold us back. This notion of inner voices that hold us back has been present throughout history and across cultures and belief systems. For a deeper exploration, see Saboteurs and Allies.

Taming your inner dragons, or inner demons, involves recognizing, understanding, and ultimately befriending the negative thought patterns and emotions that hold you back.This process involves shifting from battling these “dragons” to understanding their origins and learning to work with them, rather than against them.

How to Tame Your Inner Dragons: A Detailed Path

1, Acknowledge the Dragon

Identify recurring negative thought patterns, fears, or self-sabotaging behaviors.
Name them (Fear, Doubt, Perfectionism) to separate them from your core self.

2. Locate the Dragon

Notice where emotions live in your body (tight chest, heavy stomach).

3. Witness Its Energy

Without judgment, observe its intensity. Recognizing the scale loosens its grip.

4. Understand Its Origins

Trace the roots: past wounds, coping mechanisms, or survival instincts.

5. Shift Perspective

Befriend the dragon as a messenger or protector.
Ask what need it is trying to meet.
Challenge negative thoughts and assumptions.
Focus on positives and cultivate affirmations.

6. Embrace Radical Self-Love

Defy cultural scripts and inner critics that declare you unworthy.
Accept all parts of yourself, including flaws and vulnerabilities.

7. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Release perfectionism.
Choose grace and forgiveness over punishment.

8. Practice Grounded Presence

Use breath, stillness, or mindful movement to let emotions shift like weather.
Anchor yourself in the present through mindfulness and meditation.

9. Develop Habits of Renewal

Journal to clarify and process emotions.
Engage in activities that spark joy and vitality.
Seek therapeutic or trusted support when needed.

10. Uncover Your Inner Angels

As dragons soften, inner allies emerge — wisdom, clarity, love.
Live authentically, aligned with values and passions.

11. Seek Community and Support

Healing accelerates when shared.
Like weightlifters spotting one another, we grow stronger together.

This fuller path weaves practical tools with soulful practices. It shows that taming your dragons is not destruction, but recognition and renewal — a journey where saboteur voices give way to inner allies. For deeper perspectives across traditions, explore our Saboteurs and Allies guide.

Glossary of Terms (Appendix)

Dragon

A symbolic representation of powerful inner forces often formed in response to fear, pain, or threat. Dragons guard what matters. When ignored, they react. When faced, they reveal what they were protecting.

Facing (vs. Slaying)

An intentional stance toward inner experiences. Facing means turning toward what is present with curiosity and steadiness, rather than attempting to eliminate, suppress, or overpower it.

Fear (as Guardian)

Fear understood not as an enemy, but as a protective signal shaped by past experience. It often persists beyond its original usefulness, continuing to warn even when conditions have changed.

Inner Voices

The internal narratives, impulses, and emotional signals that shape perception and behavior. Some emerge as protectors, critics, or guides, depending on context and history.

Integration

The process of acknowledging and relating to inner forces rather than splitting from them. Integration does not mean endorsement of every impulse; it means understanding their origin and role.

Listening

A posture of attention toward internal experience. Listening does not require agreement or action, only presence and willingness to hear what is being expressed.

Meeting

The moment when avoidance ends and contact begins. To meet an inner dragon or monster is to stop running and remain present with what has been feared.

Monster Under the Bed

A familiar childhood metaphor used here to describe early-formed inner protectors that surface in vulnerability or uncertainty. What once felt frightening often turns out to be protective when approached directly.

Poetic Metaphor

Language that conveys psychological or emotional truth through image rather than explanation. In this page, metaphor is used to preserve depth that literal language often collapses.

Protection (Protective Pattern)

An internal strategy formed to prevent harm, rejection, or overwhelm. Protective patterns are often adaptive early in life and rigid later, unless consciously re-examined.

Relationship (to Inner Experience)

The ongoing stance we take toward our thoughts, emotions, and impulses. Change occurs less through control than through the quality of this relationship.

Stillness

The internal or external quiet in which inner voices and symbols become audible. Stillness is not the absence of activity, but the absence of avoidance.

Frequently Asked Questions (Appendix)

1. Is this saying we should accept or tolerate harmful impulses?

No. Facing an inner force is not the same as endorsing its behavior. This work is about understanding where an impulse came from and what it is trying to protect, not giving it control. Clarity comes from relationship, not permission.

2. How is this different from positive thinking or reframing?

Positive thinking often tries to replace discomfort with optimism. This approach does the opposite. It stays with discomfort long enough to understand it. The goal is not to feel better quickly, but to become more grounded and less reactive over time.

3. What if my “monster” or “dragon” feels overwhelming or unsafe?

That matters. Some inner experiences are intense and should not be faced alone. This page speaks to symbolic and reflective work, not crisis intervention. If an inner experience feels destabilizing, support from a trained professional is appropriate and wise.

4. Is this a metaphor, or are you talking about mental health conditions?

It is a metaphor. The language of dragons and monsters points to common human inner dynamics, not diagnoses. While the experiences described may overlap with clinical language, this page is not making medical or psychological claims.

5. Why focus on relationship instead of control or mastery?

Because control tends to escalate what it resists. Many inner patterns persist precisely because they are fought or suppressed. Relationship changes the dynamic. When something no longer has to shout to be heard, it often softens on its own.

6. Does this mean fear is good?

Fear is useful, not good or bad. It often forms to protect us from real harm. Problems arise when fear outlives the conditions that created it. Facing fear allows us to update it, rather than letting it run the show unchecked.

7. How does this relate to adult responsibility or leadership?

Unfaced inner forces tend to leak out under pressure. Leaders who have learned to meet their own fear, doubt, or ambition are less likely to project it onto others. This work is not about introspection for its own sake, but about becoming steadier and more trustworthy when it matters.